Fo lyfe.

AH hey. I’m back once again. I’ve been M.I.A for quite some time now (MIA FO LYFE!) and i guess it’s time to recap a little about my life in the past month or so and do some minor ranting.

First, i’d like to say that if i get lurked one more time by some DB I’ll permanently delete my facebook account, change my identity, move to Guelph and live on a farm in nowhere land so all you curious females will have to continue wondering who Drank’s mystery GF is. Honestly, it’s annoying and there’s no point. I don’t know you. I don’t care. If you want to talk to me, that’s fine. Don’t add me and ignore my greeting and pretend like the add never happened. I find it creepy and it fully disturbs me that random women recognize me solely from my FB and then text my bf saying shit like “I see your gf.” WTF? K. No. Or, i like this one too: “I saw your gf on the street and she looks emo.” WOW. really? My, you make some keen observations there. Anyways i’ll shut the fuck up now on this topic because i can actually go on forever.

So. What’s been up with me lately? I’m at school and work 24-7 and basically have almost zero social life. The last few days of summer were okay. Pre-labor day was spent in a forrest where fires were made, substances were abused and we were rolling 30 deep. I wish i could tell you more but i was a sloppy bitch and i woke up at like 2am in the back of some random’s car and the random saying “Hey.Hey..are you okay? Do you want me to open the door? Wanna watch a movie?” while i was trying to open my chinky, mascara crusted eyes and wiping drool off my face. Quite grand.

Everything’s been semi MEH since that day, up untill last weekend when all hell broke loose at Cheers. Pre-cheers was interesting (Check nick’s post about the abandoned building and the lump aka possible dead body) After that, the group split. EVERYBODY minus KT,Drank,Salt & Myself went to the house party and we were at Cheers where everyone you can possibly imagine being there was there (Minus the House party Pplz). Anyways. That night was filled with awkward moments, yelling, tears, laughing, beef, beef, beef and more beef.

If i could go back and redo the summer, i would. School sucks and i want to party and have more nights where i look like this:

Bird Flu

I developed a severe obsession with BBC’s documentary series Planet Earth. The shots and the locations are breathtaking, but the best part is coming across some terrifyingly weird animals.

Birds of Paradise

Okay, I’m not kidding, these birds are just fucked up. There’s the weird antennae/tutu wearing one and the one that turns into some kind of tap dancing scary cartoon face when it tries to impress the ladies. I’m actually in awe.

 

Swiftlets

These birds live in caves and use echolocation like bats. They’re boring to look at compared to the birds of paradise, but what makes them interesting is their saliva, which they use to make their NESTS. I’m not even lying. It hardens when exposed to the air. But that’s nothing compared to what WE do. Apparently the spit-wad nests are a delicacy in China. Yeah, that’s right. We eat their spit. And it doesn’t come cheap either, a bowl of it goes for about 60$. Worst of all, they’re supposed to have aphrodisiac and medicinal qualities. Mmmm…nothing gets me going like a warm bowl of boiled bird saliva, how about you?

 

xx Jaydu

“Its The End Of The World As We Know It…

… And I Feel Fine”

- R.E.M.

Im sure im not the only one to have noticed that our world is dying!!! I mean WTF is going on? Just a couple days ago it was so nice out and ” I thought to myself… What a wonderful world” - Louis Armstrong. Lol I dont know why i just thought of that but anyways now its fucking cold out and i hate it! Ive been walking around in a sweater all day and for once i prefered being at work (Fuckin’ Double Pizza!) where i was able to have lots of free coffee!

After my third cup I was bouncing off the walls and singing to myself ( Hmmm… I think thats where all these songs are coming from) They let me leave early cuz they said i was too tired to take any more orders for the day. I was soo happy but as soon as i got outside i remember the cold. I mean ya its almost fall and all but comon’ cant we have a couple more nice weeks! Don’t u agree? Let me know what u think.

-Drax!

Hey God it’s me… Drax!

So it was about time that I got off my lazy ass and actually write something… Well i dont how or where to start, this being my first post and all but here i go…

Since our summer is now over, why not share about my first week back (yet again!) at Dawson? As most of you know Im in night school trying to back into day. Ive been really patient but patience only lasts for so long. Night school is soooo different from day school:

1. Almost all my friends are either in day school or have gone on to university.

2. The teachers seem to be somewhat crazy!

3. No one seems interesting enough to actually talk to.

There are many more things I can list but that would take me all night! But all that to say that I really hate night school. I mean who really wants to sit for a 4 hours english class on a tuesday night? I dont know what i was thinking when i registered for it. My teacher IS insane!!!! We must call her Dr. Vollick which brings back such bad memories of another english i had (well i ended up droppping the course). Sarah you know who im talking about… Dr. Victor Haines, well atleast that what i think his name is. Long story short they enjoy torturing their students with oral and pop quizzes! Why do i always get stuck with such weird and awkward english teachers?

Enough about my teachers because i could complain for hours. Its all i do. Im always complaining about something or other. SEE??? Now im complaining about complainging. God im sure im probz boring you all with my back to school thoughts. So imma just end my post hoping for a better next week.

Peace Im Outty!

~Drax!~

I’m on my period

and i wanna be a bitch. Haha.

Okay so i’ve decided that i want to pinpoint and victimize one person for this blog because I’m bored as shit and I wont lie, being a bitch at times is quite thrilling. Anyways, the victim.. Let’s call him “Billy Bob.” I also won’t disclose how Billy Bob has any relation to me otherwise, it may be too obvious… who am i kidding? Once you start reading you’ll know exactly who I’m talking about. I wouldn’t even be surprised if our main man, B-bob checks this blog daily.

There will probably be a lot of people out there who’ll wanna start beef with me because everybody who never actually got an inside look on Bob , loves Bob! It’s easy for people to like him, he gives off this natural cool calm vibe about him that confuses and intimidates you because you feel like he’s always judging you. He’s one with no enemies (except myself) and many followers ( aka complete idiots.) He’s quiet and mysterious and makes you wonder “Hmm, i wonder what this guy does on the weekend?” The answer to that is quite simple. After much time spent with this creature, I have gathered that under his mysterious exterior, he is actually a whiny, sappy young man who has a bad taste in movies, books and fashion. He has an obsession with nudity, being awkward and his member (I’m not kidding.) He enjoys spending his weekends reading books with infinate chapters about nothing, sleeping, and spending endless hours trapping himself in the four walls of his room jacking off for an audience on his web cam during his time as an online stripper. (Everybody reading just realized who this post is about, and probably laughed out loud as doing so.)

I wont say much else about Bob because i don’t care about Bob, I’m just bored and It’s funny. If i really had a bone to pick (excuse the ugly saying) I’d be going off for hours about Bob and his creepy ways. If you know Bob, please approach with caution. He’s a dangerous man with tracking devices. My phone and computer is probably rigged, actually. (Oh yeah, one of those things already is rigged!)

After posting this blog, I wouldn’t be surprised if Bob read it, snapped and “sent his boizz after me to Kill me, guy.”

Congratulate me on this blog while i’m still breathing. Haha.

Naxy gurl.

Series of Events

Allo Allo,

Ok so school’s been out for like a week (or two??) — and my summer has already been amazing! I don’t mean to sound like some lame teenager..but I swear–this is going to be the best summer ever. No seriously though, don’t you dare judge me. You’re probably rolling your eyes at this very moment-but listen. The last lil while has been quite lolz, and I just want to highlight a few funny events that have recently occurred in my life.

Date: Monday, May 12, 2008.

Location: Abandoned School

What went down: Broke in, got wrecked, danced to Radio Fireworks while Cynthia removed certain articles of clothing, posed for terrifying pictures, got filmed, saw a dead rat, ate dropped ring pops, Steph vomzed, sang in British accents, is this trippy?, barely wore any mascara, skateboarded, played b-ball, hobo walked in, we bounced, Nick picked up Steph’s supposed scarf, Nick actually picked up the dood’s dirty boxers.

 

Date: Friday, May 16, 2008.

Location: ????

What Went Down: Awkward footage at Younes’ house, cut finger at bus stop, Paul Melancon ruined our night, event canceled, waited at metro, life is grand according to hobo, nipple tape, chilled in gazebo, ate food, burnt nostril, shivs.

 

Date: Monday, May 19, 2008.

Location: Abandoned School

What Went Down: Nick learned about cold shots, graffiti, substances, dead pigeon skins, paint fumes, liquid-y fire extinguisher, Perez donated, awkward bathroom experiences, judgment, thrown bricks, climbing architecture, neon face paint, football stripes, Ricky Martin shirt, JayDu & Nax & Drank & me & popo, “Randddddddddy”, only cereal please, Nax falling, good person/curious, riping post cards, potential fights, 350 bus to Lasalle, shivs.

Anyways, that’s it for now.

Proot out, shivsies!

-triSARAHtops

Shout out from TEXAS.

One night…

Bench warmers.

Okay is it just me and Sdu or does anybody else get swamped by the same usual crowd after taking the escalator to the third floor?

Honestly, don’t you ever notice those SAME people occupying that SAME bench daily? It’s like they never go to class. Or they take shifts. When half of their crowd bounces to class, they their other half to come keep them benches warm. They’re ALWAYS there and it’s FUCKING annoying. Take you’re fucking laptops and 35 crew members and laughing and talking and please go to Alexis neohn or some sort of cafeteria-like room where you can all sit like civil human beings and carry on with you’re conversations which probably involve the most annoying shit anyways. Aren’t you guys loitering? Has a security guard ever told you to get the fuck out? Do the evil stares you get from the people rising from the escalator bother you at all? Is your skin that thick?

Sdu and I truly believe that we need to create some sort of revolutionary movement before school’s over. For example, go to school at 8 am on monday and camp out on those fucking benches and laugh at them when we see their shocked and confused expressions. They probably wouldn’t be able to comprehend what was happening because they’ve just been kicked out of an environment they’re all so comfortable with. Oh well. I think it’s time for them to spread their wings and fly away from their nests, the bastards.

I mean, as if the third floor isn’t filled with enough annoying people already. You have the 3A wing which is always filled with annoying theatre assholes frolicking around in their tights and fake-plastic tits and other costumes that make me want to punch them in the neck. Then you have the balcony area which is emo-only! How else can you feel sorry for yourself without having to sit around the balcony with your other emo friends peering down at cool people and wishing you were them? Oh don’t get this mixed up with the gothic alcove between the first and second floor near the men’s washrooms. I don’t want to say too much negative about them just in case they cast a spell on me, make a voodoo doll or sacrifice me to satan.

ANYWAYS, the point of this rant is to raise awareness about the annoying bench hoggers of the third floor.

We know who you are.

We know you’re out there.

Don’t think we haven’t noticed the lack of bench you’ve been offering to the rest of us.

That is all.

I can safely say

that yesterday was the worst day ever. Observe:

I hate people who say theyre going to be somewhere and then they’re not.

I hate it when your wallet,buss pass,money,cards and ipod get stolen.

I hate it when your jeans rip.

i hate when scary ghetto men follow you in dark hallways at dawson and try to hit on you.

i hate being accused for plagiarism.

….

that is all.

I hate that bitch with the shorts.

This whole situation confuses me and all i want is a little clarity.

So i signed up for a really lame humanities class this semster…i started this semester in January. Therefore, it was cold outside when i started, correct? January = cold. As we all know, when you take a humanities course, you usually have it twice a week. In my case, i had this class every monday and wednesday.

During the first few times of attending the class, i noticed something rather strange. This bitch in front of me was wearing shorts. It just kept getting colder outside and those shorts kept getting shorter. I’m not kidding. I saw her every  Monday and Wednesday and all she wore was shorts. It’s like negative forty outside and this bitch is in shorts. Okay maybe I’m overreacting but my brain couldn’t comprehend the fact that bare legs were being exposed while i was wearing layers of clothing.

This winter was also one of the harshest winters we’ve had in Montreal yet. And this bitch is wearing shorts. I’ve reasoned with myself in my head after several weeks and thought “okay maybe she has some weird gym class and she busts out the shorts and then she doesn’t bother changing.” My mind was comfortable with that idea untill Sdu told me that this bitch is in her class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Okay, NOW i kno you can’t have gym 4 times a week. This bitch was in shorts. 5 days a week. I wouldn’t be surprised if she busted them out on the weekends also.

Negative Forty Degrees. Bitch in Shorts.

I only started to cope and feel comfortable with this idea just recently. I was used to seeing the bitch in shorts. I didn’t feel right if i wasn’t sitting down with bare leg in front of me while i’m shivering. Whatever. When the weather started warming up, i rejoiced for the bitch in shorts. She must be so happy! She can finally expose her legs without worrying about frostbite!

Today, it’s April 23rd, 2008. It’s really hot in the school. This whole week has been super hot. Today’s a Wednesday. I got to school really early. I’m sitting in my humanities class happily listening to my ipod. The door opens. It’s the bitch. In..wait…PANTS? wait. what? what just happened? I’m sweating to death and you’re wearing black pants. It’s fucking hot outside and you’re wearing black pants. I can’t express what i feel in words. I’m not kidding. I saw her wearing black pants, and my fingers automatically started punching away excitedly on my cell phone. This bitch was wearing pants. After 3 months of non stop short-wearing in one of the harshest winters ever, it is now 20 degrees outside and you’re wearing pants.

Well. You’ve managed to leave me completely perplexed. Congratulations.