AY TEEN!

Sk00l

Alright so I’m in the TMR library. And I came here with a purpose: To Study.

It’s only been 3 weeks since school started and I’m already flooded with work. If only I knew university was this horrible I would’ve taken my time at Dawson and probably would’ve graduated in 8 semesters.. like all average Dawsonites do. But nooooo, I had to finish on time and bounce to Mcgill where I could sit in a class full of pretentious douches and listen to a toad lookalike talk about Dividends payable and Net earnings.

Anyways, I decided to come to the library so I could finish my work without having to listen to lil wayne and young jeezy blasting from my little brother’s room. I wanted to bike here, but then realized i had no lock for my bike because Nick got our other bike stolen. with the lock. So i had to fuckin walk for 20 minutes with a 278 lbs. school bag in my dawson cheerleading sweat pants. I finally got here, opened my bag and set up my shit to start my educative adventure. However, I quickly discovered that I had not brought any pens, let alone a calculator and I didn’t bring my course outlines with me to know which exercises I had to do. so I was stuck here with books to stare at. I had to find a solution to this.

I decicded to use to library computer to access the outlines through the internet. But that was not enough. I needed pens to write with and a calculator to calculate with. So I came up with a brilliant plan. I went on MSN and got greeted in a split second by a ‘LOL’ from my little brother Julien. I quickly jumped at the occasion to ask him for a favor. I told him I would pay him 5$ if he could deliver the stuff for me. After bargaining for a good 15 minutes on msn, I started to get frustrated and settled for the amount of 7$ in cash to be paid to my little brother. Then, I was stuck with time to kill until my lil bro arrived, so I decided to rant on our blog. lame, I know. But hey, it passed the time and Julien just walked in the library panting and red because he had biked so fast to deliver my stash. I can now commence the studyage.

thanx for reading,

Peace out shivsies.

–shmitty

C’est la fin.

Alright plegalz, as Sarah has mentioned in the previous post, we have now officially reached the end of the summer. Cegepers start school today, and us college kids start next tuesday. It’s semi sad, but i’m kinda excited for Frosh, i’m not gonna lie.

Anyhoo, the past 3 months of summer have been quite peculiar, and I feel the need to recap them because well, they were pretty fucked up and I would like to share our terrifying experiences with our dear readers. To be honest, I don’t even know how to start this.. ugh shivs. here goes nothing.

• Chapter I: Abandoned School/Edginess

The summer kicked off some time in May, when the snow and igloos finally melted. School was out, and so was the sun. We’ve had the most incomprehensible weather, that even The Weather Network wasn’t too sure what to expect anymore. Is Mother Nature on a deep psychedelic trip? Or is the world coming to an end? Who the fuck cares anyways? It didn’t stop us from discovering Victoria School. Vicky is located near Guy metro station and is abandoned. the first person to set foot in this ominous edifice was our beloved and dearly missed homie Perez. He decided, baseball bat in hand, to crack open the windowsill and penetrated into the dark cell only to find that it was desolate and awesome. He proceeded to unlock the backdoor for the rest of us and the rest is history. It became our new hangin’ spot. We started throwing “secret parties” in the grimy gymnasium where we found strange drug paraphenelia and what appeared to be a homeless person’s den. These so-called parties consisted of a group of angst ridden teenagers indulging in recreational substances and painting scary tribal marks on their faces with pink fluo markers. Also present were basketballs, skateboards, graphitti cans, champagne bottles, sparkly candles, silly string, dead rats, broken sinks for toilets, and people with names such a Benedict.

We fully enjoyed these gatherings, and videotaped them as well for they brought the crew closer together and the degree of sketchiness to another level. However, some members of our “crew”, specifically one with the name of a popular brand of potato chips, decided that this location did not suffice so he went on a quest to find another foresaken building. And so he found one, a church to be exact, and decided once again to attempt to access it but his blueprint was miscalculated and he got caught by an angry black security guard who knocked him out with a baseball bat and called the authorities ( aka the ”po-po”). We did not hear from our friend for 24 hours after the incident occured. We all entered a state of panic, trying to figure out how we could help our locked up convicted friend to re-enter society as soon as possible, when Nick suddenly received a phone call from him stating that he was on his way back home with his mother and that we going to be on house arrest for the rest of the summer. We never went back to the school. R.I.P Vicky.

• Chapter II: Mass Texts/ Bring Fluo

If I could summarize Chapter II in one word it would be shivs. But I think I should elaborate.
So Pringle’s on house arrest, he can’t chill with us anymore. Perez is peacing to the UK to pursue his dream of becoming an eduated and successful landed imigrant. Lalonde is leaving us to go euro-trippin and Matty got a job at BMO, which is the equivalent of being on house arrest. or something of the like. or maybe i’m just having an acid flashback. anyways, the point is, everyone bounced the fuck out. We were left stranded here with full time jobs (except Sarah), and no cool place to chill. So Nick decided to take charge of situation by mass texting everyone things like “Meet At St-laurent metro for a night to burn it down with hatchmatik! 930 pm, bring fluo and cameras for a night to remember” or “Get ready for a night of Screams and Terror at the Younes residence, 10 pm bring popcorn and fluo” or even “Radio Fireworks at the Old port 10 pm, bring booze, water guns and fluo”. You’d think that gatherings like those would be full of shits and giggles, festivity and glee but it turns out things resembled more like a bad mexican soap opera. or actually more like a 2002 Fox reality show ( RIP paradise hotel). my point is, drama suddenly emerged and everyone started backstabbing and shit-talking each other which was totally uncool and weird because such a phenomenon had never occured in our crew previously. Stories of coke dealing, boycotting, jealousy, cheating, name-calling and treachery started spreading faster than the Maple Leaf disease. The crew got seperated, but this did not stop us from roaming the streets of St-laurent, creating a kuffufle at Blizarts and hanging out in Pharmaprix parking lots and Architecural Parks. We also expanded our crew with new additions such as PeeJay (”are you pissed nick?”), Ben, Toni, and occasional randoms here and there. As mentioned previously, the weather was on high doses of crack and we thus got 2 sunny days on 25 rainy ones. I’m still bitter over the fact that we never went to super Aqua Club. augh.

• Chapter III: The Cool Kids Crew/ DYP

The event that marked the beginning of the third and final chapter of summer ‘08 was Steph and Lalonde’s birthday. We organized a surprise bday bash for these two ladies at Ugly Ass Bikes.
you’re confused aren’t you? No, we did not buy them ugly ass bikes. and no they are not ugly ass dykes. the place where we threw the party is a skateparc/bmx parc called Ugly Ass Bikes. We rented the whole thing for one night of madness and chaos involving Tanqueray, vegan cakes, balloons, sparkly candles, people on bikes, people on drugs, a bit of drunken contemporary dancing and some cheerleading. The night was a success and marked the return and retribution of the Cool Kids Crew aka D.Y.P. I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel and things started getting back on track, even though Mama Nature was still in rehab. We then attended other succesful events such as the MEG boat party where we witnessed a naked man do a triple flip onto the St- Lawrence river and we wrapped up the summer with Nick’s bday bash/Indecent Xposure Bad Trip where hoes got down, burned down the club and bounced back and fourth.

What can I say. Even though we had some shitty times, and some of us shed tears at some point or another this summer, it doesn’t change the fact that everytime I look at all the Photo Albums Sarah posted on facebook of all our hangs outs I have a huge smile on my face. All the good times, the lawls times, the way we all got to know each other so much better and got so much closer makes it all worth it to me. I would re-do this summer all over again in a second. Obviously there were some ups and downs, but when you think about it, it’s the downs that made the ups that much cooler for us. It was our last summer as the Dawson Kids too. We’re all going to different schools now, we’re all seperating and moving on to a new chapter in our lives, but these memories will stay with us forever. As Vitamin C once said in her lyrics ” As we go on, we’ll remember, all the good times we had together. As our lives change, come whatever, we will still be friends forever”. Ugh, I love that orange haired bitch.
K I have to go get ready for frosh now, it’s starting in about 4 hours. I’m hella nervous. but before I go, i just wanna say:

SUMMER ‘08 FTW!

L4rk4r

I don’t know about you, but since i’ve been introduced to the world of myspace and its derivatives back in 2002, i have acquired a newly found fetish/obssession.

And no, it isn’t what you think it is. Yes I fully admit I used to love taking pictures of myself in the bathroom and spend hours photoshopping them so I would look cool, and I used to spend even more hours editing my profile and using all these terrifying html codes to make my page match my pseudo-pretentious image. But that’s not it.

Spending my fair share of time on networking websites made me discover my inner lurker.

Lurker: Someone who is constantly on myspace looking at the same people that they don’t know over and over again to see if they have new pictures, who their friends are etc. etc.

I first discovered this hidden trait of mine while browsing through various profiles and ending up stumbling upon a peculiar boy. His profile picture was a really cool sort of animation of him carrying a large teddy bear next to a washing machine. He had longish shaggy chestnut hair that covered his eyes, a striped sweater and tight jeans. He was tall and skinny. He was beautiful.

I was captivated. Evidently, I proceeded by clicking on ‘view more pics’. At that moment my heart skipped a beat. Every picture got more inticing as I lightly pressed my index finger on the mouse while contemplating the awe-inspiring beauty that lay before my eyes.
That was the day I fell in love with Zach Estefano.

Since that fateful day, I have become a changed woman. I started checking his profile daily, saving all his pictures, taking down the names of all the bands and movies he liked, I even changed my profile so that it would sort of look like his and I would even copy paste and save the things he would say on his “about me” because I thought they were so clever, simple and ingenious. I know I had somewhat crossed the line when I started lurking his friends also so I could get as much info on him as possible, I would stalk the convos he would have and just by doing that I figured out which school he went to, when his brithday was ( February 7th 1990), which drink he liked (vitamin water & arizon iced tea), that he had a twin named Devin, and the list goes on… I basically know everything about this guy and he lives Florida, which is more than a thousand miles away from here. My behavior worsened as I checked his profile now multiple times a day and read every single bulletin he would post.
My friend Stephanie started seeing the changes in my behavior when my favourite topic of coversation became him. I even showed her poems I wrote about him and told her about the dreams I had where him and I were going out. I finally got the courage to comment him one day. and he commented back. and I died a little. I could honestly write a novel about how I feel towards this mysterious man that I feel I know so very well.

I know that you have now severely judged me in multiple ways. I also know and acknowledge the fact that I’m a creepy bitch. But I swear to you that one day, him and I will meet, and we will be together, because I know that we are meant to be.
Till then I’mma keep lurkin his profile.

——-shmitty.

<——— My attempt at being cool.

PS- Zach, if you ever read this. don’t be scared. I’ll be gentle.