Fo lyfe.

AH hey. I’m back once again. I’ve been M.I.A for quite some time now (MIA FO LYFE!) and i guess it’s time to recap a little about my life in the past month or so and do some minor ranting.

First, i’d like to say that if i get lurked one more time by some DB I’ll permanently delete my facebook account, change my identity, move to Guelph and live on a farm in nowhere land so all you curious females will have to continue wondering who Drank’s mystery GF is. Honestly, it’s annoying and there’s no point. I don’t know you. I don’t care. If you want to talk to me, that’s fine. Don’t add me and ignore my greeting and pretend like the add never happened. I find it creepy and it fully disturbs me that random women recognize me solely from my FB and then text my bf saying shit like “I see your gf.” WTF? K. No. Or, i like this one too: “I saw your gf on the street and she looks emo.” WOW. really? My, you make some keen observations there. Anyways i’ll shut the fuck up now on this topic because i can actually go on forever.

So. What’s been up with me lately? I’m at school and work 24-7 and basically have almost zero social life. The last few days of summer were okay. Pre-labor day was spent in a forrest where fires were made, substances were abused and we were rolling 30 deep. I wish i could tell you more but i was a sloppy bitch and i woke up at like 2am in the back of some random’s car and the random saying “Hey.Hey..are you okay? Do you want me to open the door? Wanna watch a movie?” while i was trying to open my chinky, mascara crusted eyes and wiping drool off my face. Quite grand.

Everything’s been semi MEH since that day, up untill last weekend when all hell broke loose at Cheers. Pre-cheers was interesting (Check nick’s post about the abandoned building and the lump aka possible dead body) After that, the group split. EVERYBODY minus KT,Drank,Salt & Myself went to the house party and we were at Cheers where everyone you can possibly imagine being there was there (Minus the House party Pplz). Anyways. That night was filled with awkward moments, yelling, tears, laughing, beef, beef, beef and more beef.

If i could go back and redo the summer, i would. School sucks and i want to party and have more nights where i look like this:

Role Call, Recalled

 

This is Sarah.

She imposes her will through an unstoppable torrent of repetition causing you to bleed from your eyes and adopt a new vocabulary. She has a preference for a beverage known as the “Big 10” and is likely to be spotted collapsing after enjoying it. She likes chunky peanut butter on bagels more than anyone you will ever meet and can’t be talked into doing things she doesn’t want to do. Don’t try it.

 

 

This is Naccs.

Her story telling techniques are unrivalled but might leave you questioning her sanity. Not to worry, she is stable despite her hunger for all things graffiti and ghetto. She likes to rap, paint and be pulled by her hair. When asked to hit her, don’t. You’ll likely chip one of the few teeth that are not already damaged from drug induced fighting.

 

This is Melissa.

This little phoenix has finally exploded out from those pesky proverbial ashes and is now more dangerous than ever. Please don’t cross her, we’re exhausted from keeping up with her body count. She likes to get tipsy, smoke Peach Cigarillos, and dramatize on the inescapable stupidity of the human race. But she’s totally a sweetheart, I swear.

 

This is Cynthia.

Be warned, playing certain melodies in her presence will result in screams and frantic removal of clothing. Do not despair. As wild as she might appear, she is gentle in spirit and can be coaxed into calmness. Oh, and she can make the clichéd potato sack look like a vintage YSL.

 

This is Stephanie.

A redheaded videogame freak, she will lull you into a false sense of security and then ensnare you into her giant web of good times and happiness. While she is conscious and in an altered state, expect to see her move and gyrate in ways most are incapable of. She will cause your head to explode when she demands, “Is this trippy?”

 

Oh and this is me, Jaydu.

I’m a little higher than most on the melodramatics. I might not have a body count but I do have a count of bodies that I pretend don’t exist. I’m less action, more inescapable traps of harmful thought processes and unpredictable mood swings. But you won’t notice. I exist solely for bottles of white wine and good company, I enjoy doing naughty things to naughty people and I pretty much forget everything. Oh and I really like to bite, sorry.

*UPDATES*

We’ve cleaned up our member list and we have some very exciting new additions. There’s nothing grander than expansion, huh?

This is Letourneau.

She’s a sassy little frassy equipped with unnaturally long limbs and delightfully uneven hips that give her a dominatrix like stance. This princess’s calling is to keep you safe and you can depend on her to break out some controversial raps while intoxicated. 

 

This is Kassandra

A total darling yet hardcore competitor, she’s got it all in control. Her presence guarantees a good time and an infamous mind boggling display of drunken cheerleading stunts. Honestly, anyone who can hold up some gyal and launch her into the air while barely being able to walk a straight line is a hero in my books.

Hey God it’s me… Drax!

So it was about time that I got off my lazy ass and actually write something… Well i dont how or where to start, this being my first post and all but here i go…

Since our summer is now over, why not share about my first week back (yet again!) at Dawson? As most of you know Im in night school trying to back into day. Ive been really patient but patience only lasts for so long. Night school is soooo different from day school:

1. Almost all my friends are either in day school or have gone on to university.

2. The teachers seem to be somewhat crazy!

3. No one seems interesting enough to actually talk to.

There are many more things I can list but that would take me all night! But all that to say that I really hate night school. I mean who really wants to sit for a 4 hours english class on a tuesday night? I dont know what i was thinking when i registered for it. My teacher IS insane!!!! We must call her Dr. Vollick which brings back such bad memories of another english i had (well i ended up droppping the course). Sarah you know who im talking about… Dr. Victor Haines, well atleast that what i think his name is. Long story short they enjoy torturing their students with oral and pop quizzes! Why do i always get stuck with such weird and awkward english teachers?

Enough about my teachers because i could complain for hours. Its all i do. Im always complaining about something or other. SEE??? Now im complaining about complainging. God im sure im probz boring you all with my back to school thoughts. So imma just end my post hoping for a better next week.

Peace Im Outty!

~Drax!~

C’est la fin.

Alright plegalz, as Sarah has mentioned in the previous post, we have now officially reached the end of the summer. Cegepers start school today, and us college kids start next tuesday. It’s semi sad, but i’m kinda excited for Frosh, i’m not gonna lie.

Anyhoo, the past 3 months of summer have been quite peculiar, and I feel the need to recap them because well, they were pretty fucked up and I would like to share our terrifying experiences with our dear readers. To be honest, I don’t even know how to start this.. ugh shivs. here goes nothing.

• Chapter I: Abandoned School/Edginess

The summer kicked off some time in May, when the snow and igloos finally melted. School was out, and so was the sun. We’ve had the most incomprehensible weather, that even The Weather Network wasn’t too sure what to expect anymore. Is Mother Nature on a deep psychedelic trip? Or is the world coming to an end? Who the fuck cares anyways? It didn’t stop us from discovering Victoria School. Vicky is located near Guy metro station and is abandoned. the first person to set foot in this ominous edifice was our beloved and dearly missed homie Perez. He decided, baseball bat in hand, to crack open the windowsill and penetrated into the dark cell only to find that it was desolate and awesome. He proceeded to unlock the backdoor for the rest of us and the rest is history. It became our new hangin’ spot. We started throwing “secret parties” in the grimy gymnasium where we found strange drug paraphenelia and what appeared to be a homeless person’s den. These so-called parties consisted of a group of angst ridden teenagers indulging in recreational substances and painting scary tribal marks on their faces with pink fluo markers. Also present were basketballs, skateboards, graphitti cans, champagne bottles, sparkly candles, silly string, dead rats, broken sinks for toilets, and people with names such a Benedict.

We fully enjoyed these gatherings, and videotaped them as well for they brought the crew closer together and the degree of sketchiness to another level. However, some members of our “crew”, specifically one with the name of a popular brand of potato chips, decided that this location did not suffice so he went on a quest to find another foresaken building. And so he found one, a church to be exact, and decided once again to attempt to access it but his blueprint was miscalculated and he got caught by an angry black security guard who knocked him out with a baseball bat and called the authorities ( aka the ”po-po”). We did not hear from our friend for 24 hours after the incident occured. We all entered a state of panic, trying to figure out how we could help our locked up convicted friend to re-enter society as soon as possible, when Nick suddenly received a phone call from him stating that he was on his way back home with his mother and that we going to be on house arrest for the rest of the summer. We never went back to the school. R.I.P Vicky.

• Chapter II: Mass Texts/ Bring Fluo

If I could summarize Chapter II in one word it would be shivs. But I think I should elaborate.
So Pringle’s on house arrest, he can’t chill with us anymore. Perez is peacing to the UK to pursue his dream of becoming an eduated and successful landed imigrant. Lalonde is leaving us to go euro-trippin and Matty got a job at BMO, which is the equivalent of being on house arrest. or something of the like. or maybe i’m just having an acid flashback. anyways, the point is, everyone bounced the fuck out. We were left stranded here with full time jobs (except Sarah), and no cool place to chill. So Nick decided to take charge of situation by mass texting everyone things like “Meet At St-laurent metro for a night to burn it down with hatchmatik! 930 pm, bring fluo and cameras for a night to remember” or “Get ready for a night of Screams and Terror at the Younes residence, 10 pm bring popcorn and fluo” or even “Radio Fireworks at the Old port 10 pm, bring booze, water guns and fluo”. You’d think that gatherings like those would be full of shits and giggles, festivity and glee but it turns out things resembled more like a bad mexican soap opera. or actually more like a 2002 Fox reality show ( RIP paradise hotel). my point is, drama suddenly emerged and everyone started backstabbing and shit-talking each other which was totally uncool and weird because such a phenomenon had never occured in our crew previously. Stories of coke dealing, boycotting, jealousy, cheating, name-calling and treachery started spreading faster than the Maple Leaf disease. The crew got seperated, but this did not stop us from roaming the streets of St-laurent, creating a kuffufle at Blizarts and hanging out in Pharmaprix parking lots and Architecural Parks. We also expanded our crew with new additions such as PeeJay (”are you pissed nick?”), Ben, Toni, and occasional randoms here and there. As mentioned previously, the weather was on high doses of crack and we thus got 2 sunny days on 25 rainy ones. I’m still bitter over the fact that we never went to super Aqua Club. augh.

• Chapter III: The Cool Kids Crew/ DYP

The event that marked the beginning of the third and final chapter of summer ‘08 was Steph and Lalonde’s birthday. We organized a surprise bday bash for these two ladies at Ugly Ass Bikes.
you’re confused aren’t you? No, we did not buy them ugly ass bikes. and no they are not ugly ass dykes. the place where we threw the party is a skateparc/bmx parc called Ugly Ass Bikes. We rented the whole thing for one night of madness and chaos involving Tanqueray, vegan cakes, balloons, sparkly candles, people on bikes, people on drugs, a bit of drunken contemporary dancing and some cheerleading. The night was a success and marked the return and retribution of the Cool Kids Crew aka D.Y.P. I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel and things started getting back on track, even though Mama Nature was still in rehab. We then attended other succesful events such as the MEG boat party where we witnessed a naked man do a triple flip onto the St- Lawrence river and we wrapped up the summer with Nick’s bday bash/Indecent Xposure Bad Trip where hoes got down, burned down the club and bounced back and fourth.

What can I say. Even though we had some shitty times, and some of us shed tears at some point or another this summer, it doesn’t change the fact that everytime I look at all the Photo Albums Sarah posted on facebook of all our hangs outs I have a huge smile on my face. All the good times, the lawls times, the way we all got to know each other so much better and got so much closer makes it all worth it to me. I would re-do this summer all over again in a second. Obviously there were some ups and downs, but when you think about it, it’s the downs that made the ups that much cooler for us. It was our last summer as the Dawson Kids too. We’re all going to different schools now, we’re all seperating and moving on to a new chapter in our lives, but these memories will stay with us forever. As Vitamin C once said in her lyrics ” As we go on, we’ll remember, all the good times we had together. As our lives change, come whatever, we will still be friends forever”. Ugh, I love that orange haired bitch.
K I have to go get ready for frosh now, it’s starting in about 4 hours. I’m hella nervous. but before I go, i just wanna say:

SUMMER ‘08 FTW!

* * IMPORTANT NOTICE * *

1. I’M NOT FUCKING YOUR EX

If I wanted to though, I have every right. I’m not, so you can stop stalking me and adding me everywhere. You’re not going to catch us humping in the middle of my Facebook page. 

2. YOU DON’T KNOW ME

So you can also desist from spreading rumors about things I’ve said to our mutual friends. I’ve never said a word to you in my entire life. You’re really creepy for pretending like we’ve had some kind of conversation.

Basically, you really need to just relax. Leave me alone. I semi want to befriend you and teach you how not to be so insecure and psychotic. 

xxx

Jaydu