SAAQOM GAH

So yes, aherm *cough*…
I’m sitting here in a cramped up waiting room waiting for my turn to go to one of the 20 somewhat counters to sign up for my learner’s permit test of knowledge….

Yes, nick Younes is FINALLY here. Sitting down and ready to do this multiple choice test that determines wether or not a person can drive or not.

I LOVE multiple choice exams, I’ve gotten so hood at them actually and I am pretty eggcited to see what they have in store for me.

If only they could fucking hurry up and let me in already!!! (did I mention that I showed up ONE HOUR early?) …

I am number A45 and the panel keeps on going up and down constantly which is just keeping me nervous if anything.

Babies crying, a lot of immigrant people, a few young people and a lot of impatient elders moving around and making a ruckus… Ugh it’s a pretty sexy situation I’m in.

I haven’t worn my eye glasses since was 11 years old and I don’t know if I’ll be in trouble during the eye exam… HELP!

Other than that, I’m pretty confident about this test… Nothing much to worry about… I skimmer through the book and aced the online test… So now, I cant wait to actually drive a car finally, since the weather is getting worse everyday…(did u see the fucking snow?!?!?!!!)

OH! My number’s up on the panel, gotta go ace this motherfucking test! WOOHOO!

See ya on the other side, bitches!

</3 Lckdwn.

Aight nerd talk: Here’s some 120bpm half time down to 60bpm straight raw emotional heavy polyrhythmic synthesizers layering over each other with various arpeggiated sequences drowning your soul and breaking your neck making painkillers useless at this point… In other words, this is my little
“experiment“.

DOWNLOAD: Kanye West- Love Lockdown (Lunice Remix)

Shernax Holmes.

Corny title but it fits.

I have a pretty lawlz story for all you peeps out there who read our blog religiously and are too scared to out yourselves. Basically, when it comes down to it, i caught a thief. YES I CAUGHT A THIEF. Okay. let me back up.

Way way up.

Ever since i’ve been working at my lovely job, IPSOS (Which is an average survey research firm…anybody who hasn’t killed themselves over sheer boredom is a hero. Including myself), there has been a mystery Ipsos lunch & Supper thief. I’m being serious. If you left your food unattended – BOOM – you were left foodless. Only recently have the bosses and supervisors taken action to lock one of the fridges (We have 2 fridges)…Therefore…you can put your stuff in the locked fridge but you would have to bother the Field Managers every single time you needed to open & close the fridge. This never made sense to me because can’t the thief just ask for the key too? wtf?…Or you can take a risk and leave your goodies in the unlocked fridge.

Anyways. For the past while there has been this DB up my ass and always trying to become my friend and talk to me about shit i don’t care about. She told me she was a drug dealer and that she can hook me up. (trust me, if you saw this bitch and she told you she was a dealer, you’d laugh in her face.)  I took down her number out of curiosity and one day when i asked her if she can hook up five pieces, her response was “A what? What’s a five piece?”  That’s when i knew she was a phony bitch who should deal with a real fiend in order to get popped in the mouth. This is when my hatred for her slowly began to sink in.

Every shift, my friends and i at Cracksos (Everyone who works there is a madddd fiend.) make fun of her indirectly. I never understood how she hasn’t picked up on it. We’d always be like “OMFG WE NEED DRUGS…MY DEALER BAILED” and she’d pipe up and say “Ohh what do you need? how much?” And we’d just look at her and try not to piss out of our eyelids laughing. The bitch knows nothing about drugs. (Example: 20$ for 1 pill of crappy E. wtf?)

Anyways… On thursday, i ended up having to sit next to her. I was minding my own business when DB started going off about how hungry she was and how she never has any money to buy food or bring food to Cracksos. If she thought i even felt a drop of sympathy, she could think again. The only thoughts that were going through my head were “Daayyummm not leaving my shit around this bitch!!” and “Wtf does she want from me..I refuse to giver her ass money. Isn’t she a drug dealer? WTF!?” I brushed off her lameness and continued to do whatever i was doing. I Didn’t really think much of this.

Sunday was the shift i had after the Thursday shift. I sat next too one of my good Cracksos buddies, Vinni. The db sat a few seats away. Supper time approached and when i finally got fed up of Vinni’s whining, we decided to head to the kitchen. On the way, Vin was telling me about this amazing tuna sandwhich he had made. (He left it in the unlocked fridge. < > ) We arrived to the Fridge, opened it and there was no sandwhich staring back at us. Amazed that one of us had finally been victimized, we went back to our row to tell our other friend, Lindz, what had happened. We were all bitching about it when the DB turned around all defensively and said “WELL SOME PEOPLE DONT HAVE FOOD…SOME PEOPLE ARE HUNGRY.”  We all looked at each other and we realized we were all feeling the same thing. Mad sketch vibes from this bitch. We ignored what she said, and we were convinced she was the lunch theif, however we had no hardcore proof. To go off on a tangent..if this bitch is such a drug dealer, why doesn’t she just pound herself with pills n coke? That’ll keep you satisfied with your cravings….shit.

Anyways to get back on it… 15 minutes before work was over, i noticed the DB’s chair empty. I got up to go to the bathroom, crossed through the kitchen and what did i find? THE DB HIDING IN THE CORNER WITH A RANDOM TAKE-OUT BOX THAT WAS STASHED IN THE FRIDGE AND SHE WAS SCARFING IT DOWN AND EATING IT WITH SO MUCH SPEED AND FURY. We made awkward eye contact and she turned her back and continued scarfing. I texted Vin some fucked up gibberish which was supposed to say something like OMFG I CAUGHT HER OMFG.

I got back to my seat, and Vin was like WE NEED TO TELL THE SUPERVISOR . (We ain’t snitches..it’s for the better of everyone. Everyone hates the bitch.) We told this super chill supervisor and he was like HAHAH UR NOT THE FIRST TO SUSPECT HER. The supervisor made me tell the Field Manager and the FM said she’d deal with it. And that’s the end of that.

I’ll probably get a rat nailed to my front door. But oh well. I got that bitch so much closer to being jobless. WOOT.

Show and Tell

We’re getting best friend rings. 

Tis’ how it boooms…

Yuhh, just filmed myself improvising a beat for 30mins (then I edit it down to 5mins) haha. Best believe this track will be banging at the next show!! Get wow with me.

GRAVEYARD STOMP

Once Upon a Booty Boat

Oh, how I miss the summer.

Procrastination conspiracy

AH heyy!

so yes I am currently majorly procrastinating. I’m supposed to be writting a 750 words english mid-term essay, but currently being loyal to plegirls and am writing on the blog. Gawd.

I hate writing essays for theses specific reasons:
-im really bad at it
-i am unable to use big words, or  use big words appropriately. And knowing me, I would just throw random big and nice words into my essay, just because i want to use them.. so that doesnt work for me, so i dont use them, and then i look like an idiotic biatch who doesnt know anything, and cant write nice things!
- Im french soooo, writing in english totally isnt for me!, and i hate writing french essays too, so there you go another reason.
-IM NOT IN FKN ENGLISH, IM IN PHOTOGRAPHY, I TAKE PICTURES! WHY DO YOU MAKE ME WRITE STUFF I DONT CARE ABOUT!….(probably because thats what school is for, to make you smart/smarter, and make u learn a bunch of useless shit, and make your brain tingle/mingle/fry a lot. aughhh)
-ummmmmmmm always too much distraction
-also I think Im a bit/ a lot A.D.D soooo concentrating on one thing is a big no no for me. I cant sit down in front of a computer and write about something i dont want to write about, when theres 100000 things around me that are wayyyy more interesting. I think the best way for me to write an essay is if u locked me up in a white room no windows, 1 chair, i table i laptop with only word on it, no internet, no nothing, my english book, and a dictionary, a 2hr time limit, i would do it!

however, I am NOTT locked up in an empty white room right now, im in MY room, surrounded with MY stuff…tv(MTV bitch!), cellular, laptop, internet, photoshop….(other photo assignments that I have due, that id rather be doing, cuz I actually enjoy doing those..), hmmmm bed! stuff stuff stufff and PLEGIRLS!

Worst part is that I went to bed last night with an essay writing plan:
-wake up at 11h am.
-1hr to do whatever i want, and get all of the facebook, tv, food etc..  distraction out of my system
-12h pm START writing my essay….. 
-4h pm DONE my essay becasuse steph is coming ova so i can use her as a model for my PHOTO assignment…which is ps!: product on location. and im using my l.a.m.b perfume, so she gonna be a harajukuuuuuuuu, yesss yesss
-soooooo i woould have 12-4… 4 effin hours to write my essays….

….but apparently I now have 1h40 to do so, becauseeeee im a procrastinating bitch!… I only have 2 lines on my white word page. wow GOOD JOB DOM, GOOD JOB! i think i deserve a reward for being so bad at essay writing!…
I think im not currently writing my essay is because I know it will be bad, and I knoowww that I will do bad, and i wont get a satisfying grade.
GAHHHH

I THINK IM CONSIDERING PAYING SOMEONE TO WRITE THIS SHIT

Another reason why I can’t/don’t want to write this essay is because I can’t write what I want..like im doing right now, I have rules to follow, I have a subject(boring). If i could write about anything I wanted I probably would have more motivation. BUT i cant, so I DONT!

gahh

IF YOU WANT TO GET 50$, TELL ME ASAP, AND ILL LET YOU WRITE MY ESSAY, AND ILL BE VERY VERY VERY HAPPY

 

OH heyyyy I will take the time.. since im already writing here and NOT my essay!
to say that I got my tattoo. most of you know! and most of you saw!
I FUCKING LOVE IT, ITS AMAZING.
its an old school camera….a twin lens
a loooot of people think its a speaker, but its only because they dont know camera, and im obsessed, so I would know.
the first question I get: ” OMG, DID IT HURT?” uhh actually im not gonna lie, i was egg-specting so much pain that when he said ” OK, its going in now”(this sounds funny haha did it hurt, its going in now!!!)(ayyeee you dirty minded people!)… so when it went in i thought it was going to be soooooo painful, that when the needle went in it didnt even hurt that much, and after 5 mins i got used to it… I mean theres a bit of pain, but its a pain that youre able to handle, its not the same kind of pain when u break your arm or when you get hit on the head with a baseball bat… you can control it.. its addictive and you dont want it to stop. WEIRD i know, but wtv DONT JUDGE ME!, uhh it took 2hrs and at the end i was sooooo eggcited to see it, and it looks beautiful  
anywhoooo, I just wanted to make that special anouncement

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

im outties for now, good luck to me….

LETOURHOE….

ps; maybe ill just come up with a reeaaaaaallly good excuse and get extra days to write it, but augh.

Paranoia

Paranoia can be defined as a disease-like state, characterized mainly with abnormal suspiciousness and crazy ideas. I am now afraid of…everything. You might be wondering what’s got me so frightened. I have one word for you: IXODOIDEA.

Commonly known as ticks, these external parasites live off the blood of small mammals, birds and occasionally reptiles. Young ticks have six legs while more mature ticks have 8 legs. They’re about the size of a sesame seed but can grow larger. They are often found in forest-like areas where they will wait to attach to a passing host.

So what exactly do these ticks have to do with me?

Well, the other day I was petting my precious doggy Mina.

As my hand touched her snout area, I felt something. A weird protrusion– a green lumpy thing that seemed to move. I searched the surrounding fur that was covering this mysterious bump. At this point, I was grossed out but mainly worried. Mina already had some sort of benign tumor. What if it was another one?

The next day, JDU got a’thinkin. She went to investigate… and found some pretty scary things. She got the bright idea to squeeze this tarif bump. What happened, might you ask? Well, she witnessed a life altering event.  She saw legs. They moved. It was then that she realized that Mina had a tick lodged in her snout near her eye.

What’s even scarier? Maybe the fact that we haven’t recently been within 1000 feet from a forest. Where did Mina catch such a tarif affliction and how do we get rid of it? Are there ticks roaming around my house? What happens if I get bit? Ticks are the size of a sesame seed–how will I know that one is near me? I envisioned millions of bugs squirming all over me, bitting me and sucking my blood.

Ew, just the thought of these scary seasame seed-like things crawling around me…makes me want to feta bucket all over the place.  Oh, did I mention that I kissed the surrounding of my dog’s face? Shivs.

What’s even worse–if one of these blood-sucking-bastards carries harmful bacteria. Lyme disease is just another disgusting factor that makes me loathe this godforsaken bug. Without many clear symptoms, Lyme disease can be hard to diagnose. In some cases, it can be fatal.

Oh and if I ever get bitten…I sure as hell don’t want this scary bulls-eye rash.

Anyways, that is my story. If you see me furiously scratching at an imaginary rash or scanning the floor for sesame sized flecks of black–now you know why.

-sarawr doonaj

PS- Pray for my Mina. The vet sent the still alive bug to a lab to have it tested for harmful bacteria. Ya, that’s right. The bug was alive when the vet plucked it outta her skin. Ew.

Eat this and that

Ah heyyyyyyyy wussu’p

So I made my way downtown today, actually motivated to go study, go to the gym and work on some stuff for upcoming projects. wow. Did I actually do that? Yah I did. I got up, got dressed, checked the bus, took a taste of the ice cream I took from gelato yesterday (aherm, 4 liters…lol) and bounced from my crib.

So I head downtown motivated in anticipation of doing constructive things finally.

So as I walk in to Concordia, blitz out of my mind, I make my way to the third floor so I can go study some of the slides for my Canadian architecture midterm tomorow… Room 3.714, that’s what I remembered.

I get in the elevator and press 3. The door close, and silence begins. For 2 whole minutes the elevator was not moving one bit and I was standing there like a complete airhead from jupiter not reacting. And then I clicked the open button and got out asap scared shitless, and as soon as I got out a guy runs in and before I could warn him that it was probably out of order, he was already going up past the second floor and I was just shocked gaga at the view of this mysterious encounter…

So then I obviously decide to take the stairs up, and I had this weird feeling, vibe around me…like no one was around, so I look around and realize that we were thanksgiving Monday and that everything was closed!!!!! Fuming like a madman and hard headed I go look for the room where I could review my midterm, so I start walking and walking and walking and I obviously got lost in the mystical fine arts department, and nervous as I was, I felt my bladder fill up with every footstep and lost hope in life. So I just stand and look around to use my magic internal gps system in my braiinnnzz and as I look to my left, I started walking down this hallway till the end and finally find my at out of this fucken place: the elevator.

As scared as I was to go in, again, I didn’t care anymore I just wanted to go and smoke a jizza. So I bounced the fuck outta there, and made my way to go see marie jane.

NO PUN INTENDED

Here’s a video to check out, to anticipate the GREAT ARRIVAL OF THE ULTIMATE HALLOWEEEN BASH!!!!!!