Video Ho’s

The very short, very badly articulated explanation of the history of the word PLE.

PLEGALZIA continued

Yes, it’s that time again. Time for a few more definitions. I’m sure most you readers don’t believe that we actually speak like this…but we do. Is that sad? Anyways, to avoid judgment from all you peepin’ Toms and eavesdroppers, hurr are some of our frequently used words…

Ablaquoi: This is a long story that involves an awkward saying and a woman named Abla. As previously mentioned, I’m socially awkz so I occasionally use random words to fill in silent moments. One of these fillers is “abla”. Well, funny enough, a woman started working with me. Her name? ABLA! So if I were ever to say that word, she would be like: QUOI? (as in, yes, that’s my name…what?). Shivs? Get it– ABLA! QUOI? ABLAQUOI!

Chili’s Baby Back Ribs: Even though 2/3 of the original PLE galz are vegan, we still use this expression. This phrase is used when one is cold or “chily”. Example: “It’s freezing outside. It’s so Chili’s Baby Back Ribs outside.”

Confoozed: This expression is used in the same manner as the word “confused” but it pronounced differently. Apparently, it strikes a nerve with a lot of people. I’ve even been pushed against a wall by an angry drunk man because of the way I said the word. Shivs? Advice: use it when everyone is happy and sober.

Qwhat?: Is a hybrid between what and quoi. It was inspired by Miss Lolzlonde, who in a drunken state, managed to create a fusion for all you bilinguals out there.

Adabada/Adabado/Adabadont: These words were pre-PLE and I’m fully ashamed of them. The original meaning behind these are lost forever, yet the do or don’t versions literally mean do or don’t. The Adabada was just another silence filler. Example: “Chinese slippers and men with smelly breath are such adabadonts.”

I can safely say

that yesterday was the worst day ever. Observe:

I hate people who say theyre going to be somewhere and then they’re not.

I hate it when your wallet,buss pass,money,cards and ipod get stolen.

I hate it when your jeans rip.

i hate when scary ghetto men follow you in dark hallways at dawson and try to hit on you.

i hate being accused for plagiarism.

….

that is all.

I hate that bitch with the shorts.

This whole situation confuses me and all i want is a little clarity.

So i signed up for a really lame humanities class this semster…i started this semester in January. Therefore, it was cold outside when i started, correct? January = cold. As we all know, when you take a humanities course, you usually have it twice a week. In my case, i had this class every monday and wednesday.

During the first few times of attending the class, i noticed something rather strange. This bitch in front of me was wearing shorts. It just kept getting colder outside and those shorts kept getting shorter. I’m not kidding. I saw her every  Monday and Wednesday and all she wore was shorts. It’s like negative forty outside and this bitch is in shorts. Okay maybe I’m overreacting but my brain couldn’t comprehend the fact that bare legs were being exposed while i was wearing layers of clothing.

This winter was also one of the harshest winters we’ve had in Montreal yet. And this bitch is wearing shorts. I’ve reasoned with myself in my head after several weeks and thought “okay maybe she has some weird gym class and she busts out the shorts and then she doesn’t bother changing.” My mind was comfortable with that idea untill Sdu told me that this bitch is in her class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Okay, NOW i kno you can’t have gym 4 times a week. This bitch was in shorts. 5 days a week. I wouldn’t be surprised if she busted them out on the weekends also.

Negative Forty Degrees. Bitch in Shorts.

I only started to cope and feel comfortable with this idea just recently. I was used to seeing the bitch in shorts. I didn’t feel right if i wasn’t sitting down with bare leg in front of me while i’m shivering. Whatever. When the weather started warming up, i rejoiced for the bitch in shorts. She must be so happy! She can finally expose her legs without worrying about frostbite!

Today, it’s April 23rd, 2008. It’s really hot in the school. This whole week has been super hot. Today’s a Wednesday. I got to school really early. I’m sitting in my humanities class happily listening to my ipod. The door opens. It’s the bitch. In..wait…PANTS? wait. what? what just happened? I’m sweating to death and you’re wearing black pants. It’s fucking hot outside and you’re wearing black pants. I can’t express what i feel in words. I’m not kidding. I saw her wearing black pants, and my fingers automatically started punching away excitedly on my cell phone. This bitch was wearing pants. After 3 months of non stop short-wearing in one of the harshest winters ever, it is now 20 degrees outside and you’re wearing pants.

Well. You’ve managed to leave me completely perplexed. Congratulations.

PLEGALZIA

MMkay guys,

I know that it hasn’t been that long since my last “Definition” post, but I must keep urrone up-to-date. Yes, there are still many phrases that need to be explained. I feel like we have now created so many new words, that it can count as some new form of dialect: “PLEGALZIA“. Yes, if I could describe our own language in one word, it would defz be PLEGALZIA.

Czechoslovakia: Not only is this an Eastern European country, it is also a term that can replace the word “check”. For example: “Can I CZECHOSLOVAKIA my Facebook?”

Kid Sistering: Melissa Young, aka Kid Sister, is a semi-known singer with attitude. However, in PLEGALZIA, we use the term “kid sistering” as “kidding”. One can say such things as, “I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just KID SISTERING!”

Shayne Emz: A young man from the deep 450, Shayne “Emz” Lalonde is a talented graf artist with a heart of gold. We use this term to describe a sad state of mind, which stems from the “emz” part of his tagging name (Emo = Emz). Instead of claiming to be emo or sad, say something like “I’m so Shayne Emz today.” (My emo playlist on my Ipod is even entitled SHAYNE EMZ…I’m not kid sistering. )

Horbbz like Forbes: This phrase can be used to describe any situation that is semi comical yet horrible at the same time. The word Horbbz refers to “horrible” and is compared to the American magazine, Forbes .

Proot: I don’t know about you, but I sincerely hate all people who overuse emoticons. Especially, this one . You’re not being suggestive, funny or cute. Anyways, the word “proot” is the noise that one makes when doing the face. When you stick out your tongue and blow (or whatever that action is < > ), it makes that sound.

GAHGAHGAHGAHGAHGAH

Anyways, those are all the expressions that I can think of for now. PLEGALZIA is expanding day by day and will continue to grow.

PROOT OUT SHIVSIEZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

-Ess Doo Nay.

CHEX IT OUT!

This is actually terrifying. I’m not kidding, I actually shat twice and died.

Check out this musak video “Rubber Johnny” by Aphex Twin.

Trust me, it’s worth it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l48HTZUHfeQ

-sarGahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Facebook

… is driving me insane.

I’m sick of it but I can’t escape! Even though I’m done school now and I have time to waste on facebook I’m sick of wasting my time with it at all.

I’m sure anyone who has facebook has had the experience of looking through someone’s profile for like half an hour and then saying to yourself “I don’t even like this person! and now I hate them even more!”

So why do it? If I know I hate people why must I look at their profiles? It’s like I just want to be reminded that I hate them or I need some info to fuel my hatred further. I know we learned about something like this in Commmunication Theory but I obviously wasn’t listening very well. I believe it’s on my final next week. The whole idea that even though we hate something we will continue to watch it (if its a show or movie), or obtain info about it somehow so that our opinions will be validated. The same way I hate Degrassi but will continue to watch it so that I can list the reasons why I hate it. Yes I watch Degrassi from time to time. And yes I know I have just been severely judged by you all.
Anyways all this is the reason why I deleted facebook for one whole week. Unfortunately following that long week I caved and returned to it. The sad thing is I didn’t even miss it. I know everyone’s like “Yeah yeah Mel, sure you didn’t miss it.” but really, I didn’t! I was actually doing good and it felt really good to not take study breaks every 2 minutes to see what was happening on facebook, which by the way nothing was! It also felt good to not come home exhausted but have the need to check facebook before bed, and then only get to bed 2 hours later because I ended up stalking someone I despise. The real reason I added it back was I realized that there are certain people I don’t know how to reach without it. Let’s face it there are certain people you would message on facebook but wouldn’t necessarily call. It doesn’t however mean that you don’t actually need these people for some things.

Now my main complaint about facebook. There are certain people who have told me that they love facebook because they can check how their friends are doing whenever they want because they don’t always have time to call. This reason upsets me because think of all the time you spend on facebook. If you took that time and called a different friend up each day then you would know how they’re doing and it’s much more personal than writing on their wall, like everyone else does. Now you may say that you wouldn’t have time to call all your old friends up but let’s be real, you only actually truly care about maybe 15 people out of your facebook friends. I guess it all really comes down to would you rather have 400 acquaintances, or a few real friends with voices you can actually recognize? All facebook does is encourage us to talk to each other less and make us feel more alone because we barely know our “top” friends.

The truth is you may be able to find out what a person did with their summer, or what they’re studying in school from their facebook page, but you definitely can’t tell how they are truly doing. A status full of anger can’t even begin to express the real pain a “friend” may be going through and unless you personally take the time to call your friends up and see how they’re doing, when you finally do you may find out that they’re not really your friends anymore. Some people are only now beginning to realize this about me because they assumed my facebook page said everything about me. Well it doesn’t. And I’m sure yours doesn’t either.

I realize that this whole thing kind of resembles a PSA warning about facebook, but it’s meant to be more me telling you to reach out to your friends a little further than their wall. You may realize people need you more than you think.

Well I’m done being all dramatic now, have a good week everyone:)

The Truth

Men:

The brighter the picture,

the darker the negative.

Give You a Hat

Par.a.site noun

An organism that live in or on another organism and benefits by deriving nutrients at the host’s expense.

-derogatory: a person who habitually relies on or exploits others and gives nothing in return.

Synonyms: sycophant, hanger-on.

**Presence will make your eyes roll back in your head so fast that those around you will believe you are having an epileptic seizure.**

Slowmotion Afternoon

With your feet in the air

And your head on the ground

Try this trick and spin it

Your head will collapse

If there’s nothing in it

And you’ll ask yourself

Where is my mind?